When it comes to advice these days, most of us aren't calling mom anymore. We are looking on line for recipes, for medical tips...for marriage counseling. Yes, you heard right. Utah couples are looking for love lessons on web sites and apps. But do they work and should you trust your relationship to the web?
Nate and Wendy Jackman have been married for nine years. They have four kids under the age of seven and like most busy married couples now and then, they don't see eye to eye.
"What do we argue about? Me cleaning up after everybody all day long and having no help," Wendy says.
Instead of focusing on disagreements, the couple started searching for solutions. And say this is where they found one. A web site that encourages married couples to date each other again, and even provides ideas.
"Sometimes for a man to admit your marriage isn't perfect is hard." Nate says. "Until it's the extreme where you say lets just break up and divorce and things like that. I think this is a natural way of admitting i'm not doing my part as a husband. Just to go to the website and find a date to show my wife that i care about her."
"It brings me to tears that we are actually saving marriages. Couples come to us but they have to put in the work. We say 100% each of you. It's a priority or we can't help you."
Kari Elordi was one of the founders of Dating Divas. The site that started here in Utah seven years ago - during a time when googling to fix marital fights was frowned upon.
"We started with 12 women when we started out." Elordi says. "And we were lucky, friends and family looked at our dating ideas. And now we have millions and millions of followers. There is something there. There is something people are needing and we are filling that need."
There are definitely dozens and dozens of needs being met on line every day. Website Ashley Madison promised married couples a secure site to cheat, while other sites claim to help you pick the perfect partner. So with studies showing that fewer Americans now even choose to marry... Is web therapy safe or is it a scam?
"I don't know if there is a huge downside. I see it more with emotional affairs with computers than accessing information for couples there. We have more people willing to do online therapy so now we treat an under served population."
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Lori Schade believes on line couples therapy is effective. In fact, she says, it's erasing the stigma of asking for help - especially for those couples that are searching for direction, but want privacy.
"I think if couples are inspired to put forth effort and work on their marriages, then the information is good information," Schade says.
Kari Elordi says "If you are looking for negative and looking to cheat with activities outside your marriage, you will find it. But if you are looking for positives, there are plenty."
The Jackmans are the first to admit that every couple is different. And some need more than the web can provide. But for them, the fun they've found on dating divas has definitely made a difference.
Wendy Jackman says, "You love them when you marry them. But all the things he does for me and the way he treats me, it makes me want to be a better mom, a better person. It helps me realize why i married him."
Lori Schade says online therapy is just as popular with men as it is with women. And all the easy access to information on the web has even empowered more men to seek face-to-face couples therapy.
Schade recommends the following websites to clients:
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