Erin Shepard, licensed clinical therapist wants to help you feel less stressed and become a better version of yourself that you want to be! She often hears women say, “I don’t want to be the stressed mom, the one that is yelling, and hardly listening, the one that is impatient and explosive.” Yet when you are feeling rushed somehow you end up being the worst version of yourselves. By following these three rules, you will learn how to manage the negative consequences of being in a hurry.
Rule One: Break the Habit
Feeling hurried is a reaction to stress, and a trigger for stress. When we get stuck in a cycle of responding to and trigging stress with being in a hurry. Urgency becomes a habit. When you start saying, “I feel so rushed all the time.” Or “I never get anything done, yet I am always so busy.” Chances are you have formed a habit of being in a hurry. You might find yourself feeling easily drained, and short-tempered.
The habit of hurry can be one of hurry’s most negative consequences, but take heart just like any habit it can be broke. You can break the habit of being in a hurry, by carving out down time and making sure you are separating your daily tasks.
Another way to break a habit of being in a hurry is to mentally separate your tasks. You run into trouble when all your daily individual tasks become one master task. By separating your duties, it can help you see the in between, maybe even recognizing where the slow points are during the day where you can take a breather. By separating your daily obligations, you prevent frustrations from spilling over into one another.
Rule Two: Know the First Priority.
Hurry has a best friend; its name is control. Often times when feeling anxious and stressed you can fool yourself into thinking that control, just like hurry is what you need to decrease the tension you feel. When you are trying to hurry and control everything around, stress and anxiety can sky rocket, feeling overwhelmed and having a low tolerance when things are out of your control is common. Being quick to snap, even yell at those closest to you can be the negative consequence you experience.
Rule Three: Build a Connection
When you are in a hurry you often leave those who matter most to you destroyed in your path. Making this one of the most damaging consequences of being in a hurry. Think about how you use the phrase “I don’t have time for this.” Usually when this phases sprays from your mouths it’s in irritation, maybe even anger. Chances are, you aren’t even looking at the loved one slowing you down. While the phrase itself, isn’t harsh or unkind, and most the time it probably is true. But when you shout this out to someone, who has something they feel is important holding them up. What they are hearing is, “you don’t care, I am not important.”
Building a connection means, you are intentional with your relationships. The anxiousness hurry creates makes you feel like you don’t have time to do anything but focus on the task at hand. By complimenting your teenager instead of being annoyed by how long they took to get ready, or giving extra love to your toddler as you buckle them in the car. You aren’t taking any additional time; you are simply building a connection as you go. Your saying and showing, “I see you. I care.”
Building a connection can also be a way to calm yourself down. Taking those few extra seconds to hug your toddler after you zip up their jacket, or laugh with a teen. You get relief from the tension you are carrying too. By building a connection with yourself in moments of intense stress, you can center yourself. Making it so you are less short tempered by that is happening around you.
Visit yarrowtherapy.com and on Instagram@yarrowtherapy