She's an avid hiker and skier, but Chloe Jennings-White feels happiest when she's strapped into her wheelchair.
"When I’m in the wheelchair I’m not even thinking about the wheelchair. it's just normal for me, but anytime I’m walking it's always in my mind, sometimes dominating my mind, that this is not the way it's supposed to be,” explained Jennings- White.
Jennings-White has been diagnosed with BIID, or Body Integrity Identity Disorder. She says from a young age she felt as though she should be paralyzed.
Jennings-White told ABC 4 Utah, "I think it was about 4 years old that I first consciously knew that my legs are not supposed to work. I'm not supposed to be able to walk."
So when her parents weren't home she would bind her legs and sometimes she even took dangerous steps to become paralyzed, once going as far as riding her bike off an outdoor stage. While, as an adult, she knows the risks the idea of harming herself to get what she wants hasn't left her. After injuring her spinal cord, and partially paralyzing her left leg in a skiing accident in 2006, her doctor told her to give up skiing.
"So since he told me there was a high probability of re-injuring it, I then started skiing more aggressively and including skiing off cliffs and stuff,” said Jennings-White.
She realizes that kind of reckless activity could leave her dead, so she's researched other options.
Jennings-White said, "I would seek surgical ability reassignment by having my left leg completely paralyzed."
She's found a doctor overseas that would permanently paralyze her left leg. Jennings-
White says if she had the money she'd have the surgery tomorrow.
"I have absolutely no doubts that I would wake up from surgery with a big, happy smile on my face, feelings of contentment,” said Jennings-White.
For more information on BIID log on to: http://www.biid.org/