New mom Jyllian Anderson is giddy for her giggling baby boy, six-month old ace. But not long ago, she was down in the dumps.
“I kind of knew that something probably wasn't right,” she said
Anderson and her husband spent several unsuccessful years trying to have a baby. Right now, one in seven Utahns struggle with infertility. Infertility specialist Andrew Moore says it’s something that’s hard for women to hide.
“You can see it in their faces that there's a lot of distress that they're undergoing,” Moore said.
Distress is just the start, half of all Utah women struggling with infertility also battle depression. For Jyllian, waves of despair came crashing down as her friends celebrated their greatest success.
“It seems like when you want a baby, everyone else gets pregnant so quickly,” Anderson said crying. “I think the hardest days were when your really good friends or close people were having babies because you were so excited for them, but I wanted a baby so bad.”
So Anderson spent thousands of dollars on treatment.
“If we spent some money on a procedure, I would just get excited and I would basically jump in and think this might be the time that it works,” she said with tears in her eyes.
Moore said, for some couples it works, “There is good hope that treatment will help them achieve their goal of building a family.”
In fact, Moore says the majority of Utah couples getting treatment successfully bear children. But in Anderson’s case, nothing seemed to work. So she came up with a system where she grieved for five minutes each day on her way to work. Then, she and her husband made the decision that changed her life. They opted for adoption, and today they have a son.
“I waited so long. But it's like, it's the best thing. I think about all the hard things that happened and everything and I just think it was worth it. It was worth that wait,” she said.
Now Anderson has what she calls the perfect family, and she's left her problematic past behind.
“Now all the past seems like it wasn't that big of a deal,” she said.
If you're struggling with infertility, Dr. Moore said it's important to know the pain you may feel is completely normal. He said it helps to find support from family members and friends, and remember to spend quality time with your partner away from treatment.